What happened.

On 12th July 2013, Friday, I came home in the evening to a howling dog. Pea has never howled but there he was, under the dining table, yowling in great pain. All distress signs were in place, ears down, tail between the legs. His right paw was knuckled up high and I assumed that he has had broken or fractured a bone. I was so afraid to hold or even touch him. No one was home. I brought him to our vet who noticed that his paw was swollen. We had an x-ray taken but there wasn’t even a hairline crack. So we went home with painkillers and inflammatory meds.

Over the weekend between 13th and 14th July, we went back to his doctor on two other occasions as Pea was still shaking (i.e. trembling violently) and exhibiting strange neurological behaviour such as a head tilt. This behaviour led us to conclude that the swollen paw seemed to be a secondary issue as we might be looking at a neuro problem such as brain tumour. On the third trip, steriods and seizure medications followed pain meds.

Second diagnosis.

On Monday, 15th July, I sought a second diagnosis at a holistic veterinary centre. Pea goes to this clinic for skin issues. Pea was actually admitted last November when he trembled in pain. We did a full blood test during that November trip but everything was fine so we went home. This time, the doctor conducted a spinal x-ray. Results showed that Pea’s discs are compressed over almost the entire spine - on C5-6, T12-13 and L1-5.

Highlighted in blue are Pea's slipped discs.
Credit: Universities Federation of Animal Welfare

What followed was the decision to relief his pain by administering high-dose Vitamin C and Vitamin B directly to his vein. Pea had a catheter inserted in his paw and had to be injected 3 times daily with 7 types of syringes. I agreed to accept the diagnosis because previous painkillers did not work on him. I also agreed to have him take injections through the catheter because most of the injections were based on high-dose antioxidant vitamins such as Vitamin C and complex-B and not steroids. 

However, I was not prepared for the complexity of the procedure. There were 3 injections in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 3 more at night. The painkiller could be injected at once but not the Vitamin-based injections. Only 0.25ml can be administered every 2 minutes so I needed one person to hold Pea down while I injected 0.25ml every 2 minutes for the entire 30ml. In between each injection, I needed to diligently flush the catheter to prevent blood clots. Due to the complexity of the jab, it took more than an hour to administer all the injections each time. Gingko and Neuroforte (Vitamin B) were also dispensed.

Vitamin B on the left with Vitamin C on the right.
Painkillers are not pictured.

These two weeks in July were the darkest periods of my life. Aside from my husband. I have not feared losing anyone to death but Pea was slipping away.... I was losing him!  Whenever I slept for a few hours, I woke up wishing it were all a nightmare. Watching him experience regular pre-seizure episodes hurt me so deeply I wondered if I should consider putting him down. I was not ready to say goodbye but I know I will never put my best friend in pain. Thankfully I sought a second opinion. It turned out to be a life-saving measure and I hope more people are aware of this holistic, non-steroid program designed by Dr. Ly.

Acupuncture treatment.

In the recovery process, Pea has to be confined in a play pen to limit walks. He is to be placed strictly on an anti-slip mat. The doctor says Pea feels pain when he is on tiled floor or parquet, and no cushion, towel, comforter or pillow can relief this pain except an anti-slip mat.

Between 15th to 24th July, Pea was administered painkiller injections for 5 days and Vitamin-based injections for 10 days. The catheter was removed on 25^th July. Our doctor recommended acupuncture. We could have acupuncture done at the holistic centre but after a bit of research, I decided to bite the bullet and bring him to the most well-known acupuncture veterinarian in town who used to work at our local zoo. According to the doctor, Pea requires acupuncture treatment twice weekly for four months. This is Pea's friendly Dr. Oh.  

We are now on the second treatment and Pea looks more alert. The last pain attack was on 29^th July. He is currently on Chinese herbal medication. Acupuncture has to be conducted twice weekly and carry on for four months.

Being terribly afraid.

I've not been this afraid of losing someone. 

Because this person is closest to me in the whole world.

He has shared my disappointments, fears, achievements and joy in the last 11 years as my best friend.

I am afraid because this little fella is dog, not man, and thus not part of the salvation plan God has in place for us. Which means I may still see the person least close to me in Heaven but I may not see my dog who shares the tightest bond with me. I believe, in my opinion, that my dog, a sinless creature, also deserves all the grandeur "that no man has ever seen, heard or even imagined the wonderful things God has in store for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) 

With regards to whether animals are in Heaven, I can only say thank goodness I am not a sola scripturist.

Peanut is the most Christ-like person I have ever known. He displays qualities most mankind do not display. He is a faithful and courageous friend to me and our family at all times, above and beyond conditions. Peanut loves me unconditionally. He is truly a brother for Samuel, our terrier. He does not bear grudges, he is slow to anger, he forgives Samuel at the blink of an eye and takes care of us the best he can. Yesterday, as the past three nights, I surrendered his spirit to Father. "Do it according to Your will because time is in Your hands."

It has only been five days but it seems like months. I miss the gentle warmth of Peanut's body beside me. I miss our walks that I always take for granted. I miss how he paws me for a carrot or papaya treat. I miss how he eavesdrops me on the phone. And I know I will miss SO MUCH of the many experiences with him when he returns to dust.

Already a part of me has not lived.

God comforted to me through scripture on Friday morning "Yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father knowing." (Matthew 10:29) and during Sunday mass, "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God." (Psalm 84:3)

I praise You and thank You, Lord, for bringing Pea to my life. Thank you for using him to heal and mend the relationships in my life. I pray that he will enjoy a speedy recovery with no relapse or paralysis. I pray that all who are involved in his care will continue to have strength, courage and hope. Thank you for always doing the best for me even if I do not understand certain things.

I have not lost hope that I will see Pea again in my new life. Because God loves me, and it is ALL within His Control. With God, ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26). God created the world out of NOTHING. God is LOVE. I hold hope. 

"I said in my heart with regard to the sons of men that God is testing them to show them that they are but beasts. For the fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts; for all is vanity. All go to one place; all are from the dust, and all turn to dust again. Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down to the earth?" (Ecclesiastes 3:18-21)

Writing is healing.

Our lives were turned upside down immediately one Friday evening on 12th July 2013.

Not only does my dog have to deal with sudden intense pain, he has to get used to an entire lifestyle change. It is a very difficult time for any dog that cannot speak or communicate articulately to his human caregivers. 

Pea is an 11-year old schnoodle who suffers from Intervertebral Disk Disease (IVDD). IVDD may eventually lead to neurological problems and paralysis.

Our lives have changed. My husband and I have to manage compromises. But one thing we both agree on is uncompromising care and continuous love for Pea, a sweet, loving, intelligent boy who deserves only the best love we have to offer in the world. He has truly been the most faithful friend a woman can ask for and the best companion in both good times and bad times. 

When I learnt about the devastating state of Pea's compressed and slipped discs, I knew I had to turn to writing. While I hope that this blog will help others in caring for their dogs that have IVDD, writing helps me to relief some of the emotional distress and physical exhaustion I experience and writing helps to document his medical and recovery log.